A study from the Office of Fair Trading said the current account market is not working well for customers. It is very difficult for clients to compare their account with others due the lack of information. Because the complexity of fees and an uncompetitive market clients aren’t able to choose the best deal. That is why The OFT wants to talk with banks and consumer groups to try to achieve greater clarity, transparency and consumer empowerment in this market. The comment of British Bankers' Association (BBA) said the report had only looked at revenue and not considered the cost of running a current account.
Pieter De Bakker
link: Guardian, Wednesday July 16 2008
1 opmerking:
A study from the Office of Fair Trading said [better: claims] the current account market is not working well for customers. It is very difficult for clients to compare their account [better: accounts] with others [better to use a genitive here: others'] due [due TO] the lack of information. Because [Because + VERB or because OF + noun] the complexity of fees and an uncompetitive market [add a cmma] clients aren’t able to choose the best deal. That is why [good link] The OFT wants to talk with banks and consumer groups to try to achieve greater clarity, transparency and consumer empowerment in this market. The comment of [add: the ] British Bankers' Association (BBA) said the report had only looked at revenue and not considered the cost of running a current account.
Good flow, but you used five sentences. Mind the remarks on English expressions. Good use of 'That is why'
olaf
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